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Open letter to generalized law firm following an interview

October 7, 2009

Dear Mega Law Firm,

Thank you for taking the time to travel to campus to discuss your firm and, specifically, your summer associate program with me. I would like to congratulate your firm for its preeminence in everything you deem significant.

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer my services to you at this time. I was interviewed by numerous qualified firms and was forced to make difficult decisions.

Your shiny hair and men’s jewelry were remarkable and I am confident that you will succeed in finding a candidate who will be impressed by your smug attempts to belittle them. I wish you the best of luck in all your hiring pursuits and I encourage you to interview me again in the future when you are invited to do so.
Sincerely,

Law Student

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